Writing Task 2 - A student's answer + edits + feedback
ScottsEnglish
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Read the following IELTS Task 2 question and a response given by a student:
To read Scott's Edited answer, click 'Show':
To read Scott's Edited answer, click 'Show':
Human life comprises
of various phases and one of the phases is childhood. The primary school years are one of the most
enjoyed and carefree phases of a person's life. As life progresses, recalling the
memories of childhood and primary school days is almost always a positive
experience. I truly believe the best time
spent in life are the childhood/early years of life.
It is true that adults do have independence which is one aspect missing in childhood. In primary years, one is totally dependent upon parents and is controlled by rules and regulations imposed at school and at home. In addition, children do not enjoy the freedom to go and do what they want – as adults typically do.
However, a big part of being an adult requires the handling of stress. For children, this problem of stress is almost non-existent. As a child, one is not required to support a family, do well in his or her job, or earn a livelihood. Childhood years are uncomplicated – deciding which TV program to watch and which friends to make are the ‘big’ decisions to be negotiated at that age! I certainly miss the routine of that phase of life: going to school, finishing homework, eating and sleeping. When I compare this set of responsibilities with my current set of responsibilities - meetings, aggressive timelines and other daily challenges – childhood was certainly relaxed and care-free.
In conclusion, for the fact that childhood and primary school years are stress-free and relaxed, there is no doubt in my mind that those years are the most wonderful times of life.
(265 words)
It is true that adults do have independence which is one aspect missing in childhood. In primary years, one is totally dependent upon parents and is controlled by rules and regulations imposed at school and at home. In addition, children do not enjoy the freedom to go and do what they want – as adults typically do.
However, a big part of being an adult requires the handling of stress. For children, this problem of stress is almost non-existent. As a child, one is not required to support a family, do well in his or her job, or earn a livelihood. Childhood years are uncomplicated – deciding which TV program to watch and which friends to make are the ‘big’ decisions to be negotiated at that age! I certainly miss the routine of that phase of life: going to school, finishing homework, eating and sleeping. When I compare this set of responsibilities with my current set of responsibilities - meetings, aggressive timelines and other daily challenges – childhood was certainly relaxed and care-free.
In conclusion, for the fact that childhood and primary school years are stress-free and relaxed, there is no doubt in my mind that those years are the most wonderful times of life.
(265 words)
Here is a summary of the feedback for the student: